Motherhood is the most incredible experience of being a woman – the ability to create, carry and nurture a new life is indescribable. It is not a destination but a journey.
I am blessed with two incredible children – a son and a daughter, aged 17 and 16 respectively. I was always told that I had a perfect family, what more could I wish for. And the truth is that I did not wish for much more than what I had, I was quite content with my life.
I had always wanted to be a mother and I reached that milestone the day my son was born. And since that day, the journey into motherhood has been a rollercoaster ride. And now when my children are at the threshold of adulthood, ready to take off on their life journeys, I take a moment to look back on how have we fared – my children and myself.
Today, I want to share with you all the fears, doubts and concerns that modern mothers go through while raising their children. The new generation of women is not contented with only being relegated to the domestic roles. They are capable of donning multiple hats and they try to do it with a flair. While this balancing act is not easy, it becomes even more difficult when motherhood kicks in.
Women are conditioned to give precedence to children and family above everything else however in the world where a woman also tries to build her own identity, sometimes other things become a priority. And this is when guilt sets in.
I want to share my experience with all the young mothers who are battling with balancing their careers and family. Ladies! Be proud of yourself – you are doing an incredible job! Here are a few tips and tricks that will help you to cope better:
1. Ask for help: You cannot do everything yourself so don’t hesitate to ask for help. Seeking help does not make you look weak or incompetent, it just means that you are pragmatic enough to understand that it takes a village to raise a child. Be specific with what you need help with and by whom. And then just go and ask for it.
2. Create a support system: Once you know what you need help with and who are you depending upon, appreciate the help you get. Nurture relationships to created to create a strong support system, which may include family members, friends or hired help.
3. Beware of Super Woman Syndrome: We are constantly bombarded with images and information about how successful women have achieved a perfect balance – they have flourishing careers, impeccable houses, successful children, proud husbands and above all they look like million dollars. Such examples, how-much-ever inspiring, put undue pressure on you to achieve the same high standards all the time. Remember, what you read or see in media is well-curated content. In reality, your struggles are real so occasionally, if your house is less than spotless, or chapatis are bad hair slightly over-done, or you having a bad-hair day – it is perfectly okay.
4. Make time for yourself: In taking care of everyone and everything, women tend to forget to care for their selves. Make time to yourself – pursue a hobby, meditate, watch a movie or just enjoy your solitary cup of tea (of coffee). Spending time with yourself is extremely important to recharge your batteries – it is your downtime and you must make sure you give it to yourself.
As I said earlier, motherhood is not a destination you reach when your child is born, it is a journey that starts after reaching the destination. It will have its highs and lows but you will come out stronger and wiser every day – growing with your children.
For more parenting and relationship advice, write to me at jaspriya@mindscapes.co.in or call +91 7798307094.