How to stop being bothered by other people's opinions?-Arunima Jha
- Team Stay Featured
- Dec 30, 2022
- 2 min read
1) If you're not living life for yourself, who is going to live it for you?
So, I personally want to do many things, but I am also worried about what people would think. So, for example, when I started my Instagram, I was so embarrassed to start it and in the past, I found myself saying that - "Oh, my friend suggested I do this." Rather than just admitting that it was myself and I wanted to do this for myself.
Think how sad and depressing is that, to not allow yourself to do things, to not try things, to not do things just simply because you want them. So, if I am not having a good time, how is going to do it for me? The realization that I actually don't need anyone's permission to do something is quite liberating.
2) Social confirmation is brief, and we need fresh doses all the time
- I don't think I realized this in the past but for example, if someone wins an Oscar, this doesn't mean that they're not going to be nervous about their next movie. Even if receiving an Oscar proves that the person is a great actor, that's not a passport that they would hold for their life. They would always be judged from the start. So, for this reason, chasing social confirmation is such a bad way to live. Every time I do something, I would be judged individually. For example, if I win an Oscar for law, no one will care what I did last year, they will only look at my current work. There is no passport for being perfect, people would never say no matter what that person does now they would always stay perfect forever. So, if someone judges you badly for the current work, they can judge you better for the next thing. So why should you keep chasing certificates for the rest of your life?
3) Most "Superheroes" are nothing of the sort. They're weird neurotic creatures who do big things despite lots of self-defeating habits and self-talk - Having self-doubt and caring about what people think is not something that would necessarily go away. Just actively choose to not care about the parts of your brain that are screaming - "Oh my God! you're so embarrassing" "Oh my God! what people will say?" OR Oh my God! what people would think?"
It's difficult to break away from people's expectations but just stop caring about what others think. It will help shape your life better.
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